Christmas is such a wonderful time of the year!.. for many. For some, it’s reflective and can be a little sad when missing loved ones. For others, it is a dark time, despite the lights and warm glows surrounding them. If you’re a little lost in darkness right now, feeling like there’s something wrong with you, you’re not alone. Christmastime brings out added stress as we look to achieve the essence of all that Norman Rockwell painted. We look at pictures on Facebook of smiling families and secretly long for those kinds of
connections. We face feelings of loneliness, rejection, and despair. The hype all around us makes it even worse.

Well, I have some encouragement for every person reading this. I would encourage everyone here – happy, sad, lonely or bubbling over with joy – to write down three things  called “The Thorn, the Bud and Three Roses.”

The Thorn: Write down one unfortunate thing that happened to you today. Acknowledge it. It happened. Now, ask God to help you with that. Ask him to remove it from you or to give you the strength to endure it. Ask Him if there is something to learn from it, grow with it or if you are to just let it go.

The Bud: Write down a hope you have for tomorrow, something that has not yet been obtained, but you are looking to happen. Then, take that to God. Ask Him for His guidance in this endeavor. Ask Him if it is in His will, and if it is not, to change your heart to hope for something that is. Ask Him for patience, as “tomorrow” does not always come in 24 hours. Ask Him to prepare you for whatever lies ahead with this hope or desire budding inside you.

Three Roses: Write down three good, lovely, wonderful things that happened to you today. Maybe you received a surprise gift, perhaps you found a close parking spot at the store; maybe someone held the door for you and smiled – genuinely smiled at you. Whatever form these blessings come in, write them down, in detail. How did they make you feel? What was their timing like? Who was involved? Was it an answer to prayer? Then, thank God for those blessings. Acknowledge that He is working good things in your life. Make it a point not to forget these things (which is why we write them down.)

Friends, God is working in your life – at Christmastime and every day. God gives us thorns for different reasons. They deter us from going down a path that could really harm us. Sometimes they are used to get our attention. Other times God uses those times of pain to grow us in some area of our life. Be patient with the thorns. Thorns can be removed and God is a great Gardener.

Buds hold promise. Buds give us hope. Some buds may open and bloom, some may not. Like a plant, there are often several buds at one time. God is in the business of promises. Seek His wisdom which buds to nourish and nurture so that they will bloom/

Roses are a symbol of love – God’s love for you. He loves to pour out sweet, fragrant blessings on us. It may not seem like many blossoms are on your tree of life, but seek them out. These gifts can come from a stranger passing, God-orchestrated circumstances, the love of a family member or friend… they can come from anywhere, in any shape or size at any time. Be ready. Be alert. Be expectant.

This is the season of Advent, the season of preparation and expectation for a Savior that would be born into a world that saw Him first as a Bud, the One who would grow to save His people from all the trials they were facing. As He grew, the world saw him as the Rose, the mighty warrior who would save His people from oppression… and when He didn’t seek an army for battle they way they expected, the people – His people – placed thorns upon His head and killed Him on a cross. Jesus knows the highs and lows of life. He knows what you are going through.

Jesus is also the One who knows how to handle each thorn and use its pain to bring growth and blessings to our lives and to glorify to Him. He places buds of hope in our hearts, and when we seek His wisdom, we discern which buds are from Him, which are of the world, and which He desires us to nurture and grow. The Roses are those gifts, moments, actions – great and small – that Jesus lavishes upon us to remind us that He is always with us, always working, always loving extravagantly.

It is my hope that each and every one of us would take time over the next week to allow the world fade away for a moment of time. Be still in God’s presence and allow Him to fill our hearts with the true meaning of peace and joy this season. Go to Him with what is on your heart. Seek His will. Be open to His leading and know that He is actively working in your life, ready to reveal beautiful blessings in His time.

It’s Christmastime. I’ve noticed each night on the way home I see more and more homes strung with lights and festive decor, but tonight all I can think about it is walking in circles in a pool. I’ll come back to that in just a bit.

Does your mind tend to race? Mine does. Lately, it has been racing endlessly, playing scenarios over and over in my head, making and remaking lists of things to do, planning for the upcoming week, the holidays, remembering things of yesterday and hoping for a better past… the thoughts are endless. I had just visited a good friend. Over dinner, I shared with her how difficult it is for me to fall asleep with these endless thoughts; I even wake up mid thought – not dream – thought. I confessed that although each night I read Scripture, study devotionals, meditate on His Word, pray, my mind seems to have a life of its own. I shared how much it is torture sometimes to live with this head of mine.

My friend, her faith is so much greater than mine. She has seen miraculous things take place right before her eyes. She wondered why others don’t believe in a God who displays His power and majesty to brilliantly; why so many live in the land of “what if?” “That’s fear, and fear is not from God,” she said. “That’s me.” I replied.

Mind racing.

I looked at her sitting across the booth, knowing what has taken place in her life, craving just an ounce of the confidence and belief she has. “I want to have faith like her,” I thought.

We parted ways and as I drove home, more houses stood lit in twinkle lights and inflatable Santas. I turned on the radio to hear the middle of a sermon. The first thing I heard the pastor say was “Take captive every thought.”

Now, let’s just pause for a moment. Let that sink in. Mind has been racing. Talks of miracles. A moment of confession. A prayer of supplication. God sends a message straight away…

The message continued. “Take captive every thought,” (2 Corinthians 10:5) but Paul didn’t stop there. Paul knew our minds will go in a direction of their own, desperately trying to achieve, solve, make sense of life. We live in a world filled with challenges, to-do lists, demands, broken dreams, heartache, pressures – a battle for our souls rages. God has already won the war, but the struggle still exists and much of it is due to our train of thought. The Enemy would love nothing more than to drag us, kicking and screaming, from the presence and essence of God. Yes, Paul, we should and must take captive every thought, but how?

Paul gives us a list of things to think about. He said to the Philippians, “Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” and then do.

Do. “Fix your thoughts…” Do. Now we get to the pool. The thoughts that have plagued me for weeks now are just as if I’ve been walking around the edge of a pool creating a powerful current. I must change the trajectory of my thoughts. It’s time to turn around and begin walking the other way. Now, if you’ve ever made one of those pool “whirlpools” you know how difficult it can be to walk against that current, even if you’ve only walked around for 5 minutes. Imagine that current has been going for weeks. Now, turn around and walk into it. Stop it. Change its direction. It’s tough, and in the beginning the current pushes you the way it wants you to go…

God was listening in on this conversation with my dear friend. He was in the midst of our hearts. He knew the purity of my thoughts and desires, then He sent me this message on the radio; but He didn’t stop there.

Paul continues in his letter, “Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me – everything you heard from me and saw me doing.” The people Paul was writing to looked up to Paul the way I look up to my friend. They wanted that kind of enduring faith as well. Paul wasn’t saying these things out of pride. He simply knew that he’s been practicing this way of life for a lot longer and he was offering himself as an example to model.

The pastor on the radio adds that God knows that we not only need His Word to help us build that kind of faith, but we need people to model it. “Do you have someone you look up to and desire to have faith like?”

Yes. Yes I do.

I arrived home, those words of Paul ringing in my ears. As I went about my nightly routine, I looked at the bottle of melatonin I’ve leaned on from time to time. Feeling exhausted, they beckoned to me.

“Take captive your thoughts. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me – everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the peace of God will be with you.”

Ah… that’s the way. Friends, the way is hard; it’s counter cultural; it’s yielding. Yet this is the only way to peace. I have much work to do, but I’m not alone in it. I may feel as though I’m walking against a violent current, but the One who walks beside me has the power to say to the storm within “Silent! Be still,” and indeed He will do just that, for you and for me.

[Side Note: That night was the first night in weeks that I slept like a baby. God is faithful and true.]

Today is Thanksgiving. For many, this is a big day where we’re surrounded by family from near and far, long tables filled to overflowing with food and the sounds of cheers and jeers wafting from the living room football game. Today is a big day.

For me, today is small, but oh, so significant. Over the years, I’ve watched the number of people gathered around Nana’s table grow fewer. This year, there will be three of us, and that’s a wonderful thing; three people spanning four generations. Today, I will witness a miracle: a great-grandson and his Nana cooking Thanksgiving dinner together in the kitchen I’ve known to be “home” for four decades. There simply are no words to convey how much that scene fills my heart. Today will, for the most part, be a quiet and simple day. Joseph Brackett may have experienced a similar day when he wrote “Simple Gifts”:

“‘Tis the gift to be simple, ’tis the gift to be free,
‘Tis the gift to come down, where we ought to be,
An when we find ourselves in the place just right,
‘Twill be in the valley of love and delight.”

Today is a day when the ways of the world, the hustle and bustle of our crazed culture will fall away in a tiny, little hamlet in upstate New York. In the joy and laughter of good company, we will share the blessings bestowed upon us, give thanks to the Giver and be refreshed in the simplicity of the gathering. Today, I give special thanks…

Lord, I thank You for families, all shapes and sizes. I lift each one up to you for peace and joy, reconciliation where needed and for Your knitting together of those hearts. Lord, I thank You for Your provision, great and small; for Your joy that lives inside us; for Your grace that makes each day new. Lord, I thank You that our destinies lie in Your capable hands.

Lord, I thank You for unanswered prayers, even though this small mind cannot comprehend Your plan. I thank You for when you say “no,” because I know that You work in all things together for the good of those who love You, and that you have a greater purpose than my eyes can see. I thank You for Your timing, even though I am often impatient, and I thank You for your patience with me.

Lord, I thank You for all my circumstances, because You are my great Shepherd who gave the ultimate gift of eternal life for me and for each and every person You have ever created. I thank you for the small gathering that will take place at Nana’s house this day, for Duncan’s passion for making a wonderful feast and his heart that freely gave two days of preparation; for the nearly 100 years of wisdom and joy Nana has brought to this world and to our family; for the laughter, the memories and the gift of miracles that happen each and every day – big and small, great and ordinary, simple and free. In all things, I give You thanks.

How many times in your life have you hit a rough patch, or simply been in a holding pattern, waiting for the next steps to take? Ya, me too. I’m the type of person who takes a look at the situation and will pull every piece apart, looking for an answer. My dad used to call me “Future Girl” because I was always looking ahead. When I was young, I’d be on a ride at the amusement park looking for the next ride to go on. The present was just a pathway to the future.

I’ve grown a lot since then. I’ve learned to enjoy the present, but that “Future Girl” is a part of how I’m wired up. God uses that part of me to dream, design, find stumbling blocks in plans and solutions to avoid them, yet, I am always looking ahead, and when those trials, those holding patterns develop, I begin looking for solutions to get moving once again. Quite frankly, it’s exhausting being me sometimes. Thankfully, there is another way.

Faith has brought me to a place of yielding. God knows me. He knows my ways and He knows what lies ahead: “‘For I know the plans I have for you’, declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.‘” That verse is written on my heart. Why would I try to control the outcome of my circumstances with only a tiny glimpse of a potential future when the God of the universe already knows and has the best possible future waiting for me? This verse has been my peace in times of uncertainty and has strengthened my faith when something wonderful happens in my life and I look to those words and say “You were right Father.”

This time of year is turning into a time of waiting for me. Last year I waited. I waited and waited and waited for healing. It came slowly and with great uncertainty. It was a very dark place and because I was physically depleted, my spiritual health failed. I had little hope. But faith is a two-way street. Even though we are small, flawed human beings, God has faith in us. It’s a weird concept, but God knows the very core of our hearts, the depths of our souls that are sometimes shrouded from us – but never from Him. He knows every mustard seed, every small flame, every last ember hope we hold inside and that’s enough faith for Him.

I’ve been struggling lately; more waiting, more uncertainties. Yesterday, I found myself sliding back into “future girl.” I began interpreting events, pulling apart pieces and constructing a “future” about what I see, hear, and feel. It didn’t last long. I fell to my knees and apologized to my Abba Father for being selfish, putting myself before Him, my impatience, my momentary lack of trust. As I lay my head down for the night, I opened one of two devotions. The first was from Sarah Young’s “Jesus Calling.” It began with:

“As you become increasingly aware of My Presence, you find it easier to discern the way you should go… Instead of wondering about what is on the road ahead or worrying about what you should do if… or when…, you can concentrate on staying in communication with me. When you actually arrive at a choice-point, I will show you which direction to go.” It concludes with, “I will not leave you circling in deeply rutted paths… I will lead you… revealing to you things you did not know…Follow my guiding presence.”

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.” ~Psalm 32:8

Those words were music to my ears. I was stunned that my mind and my heart had been so concerned with all that was spoken of in this devotion and yet, God placed it right in my lap to lift me up. Oh yes, He knows us well.

Then I turned to the second devotion from Joyce Meyer’s “Trusting God Day by Day.” If I wasn’t stunned before, I certainly was now. I’ve always asked God to make His ways very clear to me – billboard-sized if you will. The title of this devotion? “Your Plans or God’s Plans?”

“In their hearts humans plan their course,
but the Lord establishes their steps.” ~Proverbs 19:9

The first paragraph was my billboard,

“We must learn to wait for God’s plans to develop. He perfects everything that concerns us. True boldness moves in God’s timing; it moves at the right time.”

Did you hear that? “…wait for God’s plans to develop.” Develop. “Future girl” demands I move now, but God… no, He works steadily, in His own timing. He doesn’t just sing a song to produce something, He composes a symphony that will bring into creation something amazing! He is composing the next movement in my life. It is up to me to trust in God’s timing and remember that His plans are always best.

It’s not always easy to have that kind of faith, that kind of trust. Waiting, especially if it is for a long time, wears on us. But remember, when we are at our weakest points, God has faith in us. He will lift us up, give us strength and renew in us a spirit of patience and perseverance. If you have a “Future Girl” (or “Guy”) in you, that’s ok. Just remind yourself there are times in your life when God simply calls you to “Be still, and know that I am God” and allow Him to compose the next movement in your life’s symphony.

Bless and be blessed…

Sacrifice. There’s no way to sugar-coat it. It hurts. It’s supposed to. Sacrifice isn’t pleasant. It’s giving up something you love or value for a greater purpose. Whether you are the giver or recipient, sacrifice is a holy pain enveloped in humility and love.

We sacrifice in one way or another. As parents, we give up things in order to provide for our children. We sacrifice being “friends” with our children in order to grow them into responsible, healthy adults. We sacrifice financial freedom when we make large purchases, like a home. Some people sacrifice parts of their bodies for those they love, like a friend of mine who gave one of her kidneys to her son.

Sometimes we sacrifice relationships so that God has the space He desires to work in and through those hearts and lives. If that has ever happened to you, you know the depth of that pain and anguish. You were not the first to travel that journey – many have gone before you. Abraham, who loved both his sons, had to let go of Ishmael as God had required. Then Abraham was faced with sacrificing Isaac, yet God stopped that sacrifice at the last moment. Moses’ mother had to let her baby Moses go so that he would live. Hannah bore Samuel, the son she so desperately prayed to have. She sacrificed a life with her child as she dedicated him to God and sent him to grow up in the temple, fully devoted to the One who gave him to her in the first place. Each one of these individuals moved through their pain to sacrifice, knowing that they were letting go of what they loved for a greater purpose… and God fully understands, for His was the greatest sacrifice of all.

“For God so loved that world, that He gave His one and only Son, so that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” ~John 3:16

“He gave His one and only Son…” Why? Out of love. For whom? For you and for me, and for every person God has ever created. The Father sacrificed (for a time) His relationship with His Son to restore His relationship with us. In the same way, Jesus sacrificed His life for us, even though He had the power to come down off that cross at any time. Through our sacrifices – the pain and anguish we feel on the inside – we can relate to when we read in Scripture the torture Jesus experienced… and He knows completely the pain we feel when we sacrifice. Sacrifice hurts, but we can find joy in it and we should.

Again and again, God speaks in His Word the blessings of sacrifice. God gave Abraham His peace that passes all understanding when Abraham obeyed and let Ishmael go. God then blessed Abraham again with restoring his relationship with Isaac and blessing generations to come. God was testing Abraham’s faith; His intention was never to take the life of Isaac, but Abraham didn’t know that at the time. Moses’ mother let go of her baby boy because her faith in God was stronger than her concern of setting her son to float away down a river. She was obedient to her faith. God blessed her by returning her to her son as a caretaker until he was grown. Hannah, her pain came from not having a son, but when God answered her prayer, she found pure joy through her sacrifice of dedicating Samuel to God.

And then there was Jesus. He knew how His followers would respond to His sacrifice before that day on Calvary ever came. He told them,

“Truly, truly, I say to you, you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice. You will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will turn into joy… So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.” ~John 16:20-22

Jesus knew that with sacrifice will come joy.

Each one of these sacrifices grew out of faith, generosity and obedience. Their faith in God, His ways unknown, was stronger than what they saw before them. Each recognized that what they had been given was never theirs to begin with. All they had came from God and He is the ultimate overseer. Their sacrifices were given the way God gives – generously. Finally, each one of these individuals was obedient to God’s will, whether the obedience came in faith of a future relationship, restoration or just believing God has a greater plan.

Yes, sacrifice hurts, and it can hurt deeply, but when you sacrifice the way God sacrifices, “your sorrow will turn into joy.”

Over the past weeks, we’ve studied four topics: faith, generosity, obedience and sacrifice. When you think about it, what we’ve studied is the art of letting go. With faith, we let go of what we can see and trust in the unseen, but ever-so-evident promises of God. Generosity is all about letting go of the things of this world, knowing they were never ours to begin with. Obedience is the art of letting go of control, trusting that giving up what we want in favor of what God desires leads to a much richer life. Sacrifice is the ultimate letting go. God sacrificed His Son, and with the deepest love turned His back on Him, letting Him go so that we – you and me – would no longer be seen as sinful human beings, but as beloved children of God through the sacrificial eyes of Jesus. Jesus, with all the power in the universe, sacrificed Himself for us, allowing Himself to be beaten, mutilated and killed in the most inhumane way, so that we would be with Him forever. On that one day, God let go; Jesus let go. We should let go and let God lead our lives, with arms wide open knowing there is great joy that lies ahead.

Reboot. That has been a very popular term at work lately. All of the computers were breaking down; one step forward, reboot; one step back, reboot. If you know anyone I work with on social media, I’m sure you’ve heard of our discontent. Yet, sometimes, the reboot is all a computer needs.

Reboot. I’m rebooting. It happens every once in a very great while. It starts with a project in one life monitor, another project in another. Pretty soon, something pops up that requires my attention, sometimes they’re just “ads” running in the background that distract me. Another project here, another task there… Before I know it, my life systems are out of control. It’s hard to see where the problems all started with all the windows of my soul popping up nonsensically.

God saw it happening. He sees everything. He watched it happen in slow motion shaking His head as any loving Father would do watching His child come unraveled. So, He does some heavy cleaning and performs a reboot in me. I say reboot, but sometimes it feels more like a hard shut-down and restart.

Has that ever happened to you? You’re going along thinking you have everything under control and doing just fine and then you start to unravel – hard. Your mind races, tears flow uncontrollably, sleep – well, there is no sleep mode. Then something happens inside. You can’t really explain it. Although tired, you feel better, you function better. No more gloomy windows popping up, even the sniffly virus you thought you had is gone. The crap inside seems to be gone. That’s God.

For this is what the high and exalted One says– he who lives forever, whose name is holy: “I live in a high and holy place, but also with the one who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite.” ~Isaiah 57:15

Friends, we do it to ourselves. Sure, life happens and can smack you in the face pretty hard, but if you’re like me, we don’t take care of ourselves like we should – and we should. So here is some advice to keep your heart, mind and soul systems running well:

1. Start each day with Jesus. Say “Good Morning.” Thank Him for whatever sleep you got that night and ask Him to guide your day.

2. Don’t let clutter start inside. In the IT world, there’s this little program called “C Cleaner.” It means “Crap Cleaner” and when you use it to get rid of those little things bogging down a computer, things run better. Run your “Crap Cleaner” regularly.

3. Honor God with your loads – the things He gives you to take care of, things like your job, paying your bills, cleaning up after yourself, etc. Help others with their burdens, but (and I’m preaching to myself) DON’T take on the responsibility of their loads. What do I mean? Burdens are those things in life we need help with. I am responsible for doing my own laundry. That is a load of mine. But sometimes the basket is really full and two flights of stairs with T-Rex arms can be a burden with an overflowing basket, so I ask for help carrying the basket (the burden) but I’m responsible for the load (yup, pun intended.)

4. Say “no.” Put the tip of your tongue on the back of your top teeth… yup, like that. Now hum through your nose. As you hum through your nose, put your tongue down, keep your mouth open, circle your lips and open the back of your throat to make an “ohhhh” sound. Easy right? Need help? Ask any 2 year old. They have it down pat. You’re not a super hero. You weren’t created to do everything. Stop trying. Saying “no” is not failure. Saying “no” frees you up to do what you’re called to do with excellence.

5. Cry. Crying is good for the body and soul. It’s like a deep tissue massage for your innermost being. I have all this crap that “Crap Cleaner” can’t always reach; crap I thought was long gone. Tears reach deep inside and wash things out. Sometimes you need to cry a little. Sometimes crying is a deep anguish. Whatever kind of crying you need to do, do it! Don’t hold it in.

6. Write down at least 3 good things that happen to you every day. This helps to keep your focus off the negative things and keep the good in the forefront of your mind. I’m great at giving this advice and I suck at doing it – which is ironic because obviously I don’t have a problem writing things down!

7. Talk to God throughout the day. Take a few minutes to just be in His presence. He might be trying to tell you something, bless you, stop you, push you, refresh you – whatever it is, you won’t hear Him if you’re too busy running around like a chicken with its head cut off. He deserves more than that. He deserves your all, but you can only give your all with Him.

8. Help someone. “What?!?! April! Didn’t you see #3?” Open a door for someone. Pick up a dropped item for another. Let someone in front of you during rush hour. Just do something to be light in this dark world, because you know what? They may be going through an I-need-a-reboot-hard-shut-down-Crap-Cleaner kind of a season and that random act of kindness may be the only thing holding them up today.

9. Laugh – I mean belly laugh! Laugh until you cry and then until you pee your pants! If you need a great story to laugh at, I’ve got one!

10. Be humble. Remember this life is not about you. Your journey is not about you. Everything is to the glory of God. The good, the bad, the ugly. Use the good times to celebrate. Use the bad times to help others in the most authentic way possible. The journey is so you can tell your story and of what God has done, is doing and of your faith in what He will do on the road ahead.

Bless and be blessed.